Sorry for ending the last entry so abruptly. I felt somewhat guilty afterwards.
It's really weird. This isn't supposed to sound like its addressed to someone. I don't know what it should feel like actually. I was envisioning more of a shout-into-an-empty-space kind of vibe when I was setting it up. But now it feels like I'm writing a letter. Maybe it should be like a letter, or maybe this is another example of my instinct to make this a "productive" activity. I'm not sure. Maybe writing as if it's addressed to a specific person is better with blogs, makes it feel like someone actually will give a shit. Hmm, it's funny.
Today was sort of productive. I got things done that were on my todo list forever and I keep on putting it off because it didn't have a deadline. Like going for a pap smear, getting HPV vaccine, registering for a kendo dojo, and register for motorcycle license course. Well, I mean I didn't get all of those done today but I got the preparation done for all of them like making an appointment and checking out what I have to prepare for that license.
When I phoned the driving lesson place (I actually don't know how to call them in English, it's a place where they teach you how to pass the driver's test? some of them are certified to test you for on site testing too? anyways) to ask what the registration process for the motorcycle license course is. And this person who picked up asked how tall I am, saying they don't recommend females under 168cm (5'5) taking the test considering how big and heavy the motorcycle is. As someone who's 4cm shorter than their "you must be this tall to ride this" policy you can imagine me getting worked up over it. At the end this person said "but if you still want to do it you have to visit our academy in person to register." I mean it's not like I'm not aware of the size of the motorcycles over 125cc, my family's pretty much a biker gang - if I may be dramatic for a second. My grandparents are farmers so for them motorcycle is the best way to get around, my dad rides motorcycles and my brother recently got his very cool BMW that sadly sits in the parking lot most of the time because he's too busy to take it for a ride. So I might not know much but I know enough to get how scary these things can be. Anyways, where was I going with this? Yeah, so though I was bothered by the weirdly specific physical recommendation given by the person on the phone, I realised I should take my chicken legs down to the parking lot to at least nail down balancing this 100kg machine between my legs with the tip of my big toes.
I finished watching The One (2021) today. It's a good show, I really enjoyed it. Made me ask myself what I would've done if I was in any of the character's situation. And also the show at first puts this massive spotlight on love = romantic love and you can only truly be happy once you find this person. Then you realise there are other people/things you love other than this one person you "matched" with and this person might not necessarily bring you happiness. Watching this show made me compare the narrative style with Minari (2020). The One really feels like its almost manipulating you compared to Minari. Issac Chung doesn't tell you what's happening, he arranges these events and you, much like in real life, have to figure out what's going on. I'm not saying this manipulation is bad or is what separates this new Netflix show from the award winning movie, it's just different and the contrast between these two were somewhat refreshing to observe.
I got rejected for another job this morning. I'm glad they sent out the email in the morning, I don't think my emotional evening self would've handled it nicely. Another future security lost and another chance to be near Ben is also lost. Maybe it's just this pandemic, or maybe it's me. I'm scared to find out.
Wow, that was depressing! And on that note, I'm heading to bed.
To conclude today's blog entry, here's my todo list from today and a photo of a single 목련 that survived on this tree right next to the entrance to my apartment building.
Get 순두부 and eggs for dinner ✓
Find out how to register for motorcycle license class ✓
Do 30 mins of exercise (yoga or running) 𝗫
Book an appointment - gynaecologist ✓
Find out about near by kendo dojos ✓